You know what really grinds my gears....

Having lived here for almost four semesters, Provo has wholly convinced me that there is no place quite like it. It has its own lingo (DTR, FHE, NCMO, Devo, BOM, RM, YSA), its own celebrities (Jimmer, David Archuleta, Cecil Samuleson, Cosmo), and its fair share of both true and false stereotypes (mostly true). Most BYUers also have many of the same experiences (testing center anxiety, hiking the Y, running out to their car at one am before the parking police makes their rounds). However, one of the most common situations that BYU girls find themselves in is that of "waiting" for their missionary. (Throughout are pictures of me and some of my favorite missionaries :))

My bestest friend Jeffrey

Today I was sitting in class and a girl next to me was telling her friend all about her missionary; how she loves him but that it had been over a year since he left and she is really interested in this other guy. She was asking her friend what she thought the best way to write off a missionary was.

Cameron Olsen :)

Personally, I have always had problems with the idea of "waiting" for a missionary. First of all, he is going to be gone (hopefully) for two whole years. That is a LONG time to go without dating. Now I know that it is common for a boy and girl to find true mature love at eighteen years old. They have certainly had plenty of life experience to ensure their never-ending happiness and eternal companionship. But I think when most girls say those fateful five words (I will wait for you) I simply do not think they are completely prepared for what that entails. Really "waiting" for an Elder means no ward proms (yes non-Mormon readers, I said ward proms), no NCMO's, no casual dates, blind dates, or any other kind of date. And the idea of walking around campus for two years without a ring on that left hand might make a BYU girl think twice about "waiting." If you ask most people, they will say that long distance relationships don't work. A mission is the most hardcore long distance relationship possible. If you're lucky, you might be able to email once a week. Otherwise, you get a letter a few times a month and maybe a phone call if you stalk his family and go over to their house on Christmas. Being cut off from the person you love for two years is excruciating but after time, you get used to it. And it is simply not healthy to ignore the opposite sex for two years just because you found "the one." If you were truly meant to be with that person then dating while he's gone won't affect your future together. 

LUKE NICHOLLS

The other aspect of "waiting" for a missionary that really gets me mad is when a girl makes the decision to wait for their missionary, sends him off with the knowledge that the girl he loves is at home anticipating his return, decides it's too hard, and Dear Johns him after a few months. I cannot imagine what could possess a girl to do something like that. Imagine what kind of effect that has on a poor twenty year old kid. Not only is he in a foreign place, possibly learning a new language, stressing out about the work, feeling homesick, and working his little missionary butt off every single day of the week, but the girl who he thinks loves him enough to wait for two years writes him off because she got bored. Sorry, that just does not sit well with me. Making that kind of commitment probably is not the smartest thing to do in the first place, but if you say you are going to do it, then stick it out.

Every one of these boys that I grew up with is on a mission. So proud of Gavin Nitta, Cameron Olsen, Austin Eells, Spencer Felton, and Taylor Davis!

I would like to include a disclaimer- there are plenty of amazing women out there who happily waited for their husbands while they were on their missions. Those women are simply much more patient, compassionate, and loving than a lot of us will ever be. So yes, it's possible to wait. I just know that there are too many missionaries who are getting their little hearts broken and it is starting to get on my nerves.